Days 4 to 9

Sunday June 20

Today was a day of mountains, the Amish and bears (insert your own “oh my”).

We woke this morning in the lovely Irish Rose B & B and had a delicious breakfast (some sort of eggy, cheesy, sausagey, mushroomy soufflé). We then stopped at a supermarket to load up on provisions and gassed up (no more close calls on the gas front, thank you). We did, however, have a close call of sorts when I started driving away from the pump with the nozzle still in the tank. Again, I blame Addie. In 27 years of driving (could it possibly be that long?), I have never done that before. I guess I haven’t fully gotten my travel legs under me yet this trip. Luckily, I only went a foot before realizing my mistake.

We drove southwest over the Beartooth Mountains topping off at 11,000 feet. The road was pretty crazy-a series of sharp, endless switchbacks. The views were awesome. There was a lot of snow cover as we climbed including on the ground right next to the road. We had been told that it had snowed there just yesterday but today was a sunny one. The road is closed half the year due to snow and had only opened a few weeks ago.

We crossed into Wyoming, then back into Montana, then back into Wyoming. We went for a short hike in the Absakoka-Beartooth Wilderness but the area’s name and the prominent sign on the trailhead proclaiming the region to be the domain of the grizzly sort of freaked some of us out (again, not naming names-okay so it was me), so we didn’t go too far.

We made it to Yellowstone around 3pm and began the long drive within the park to our campsite. Yellowstone is a huge park and one can easily spend the day driving within its borders. We came in through the northeast entrance and drove down the Lamar River valley, which because of its abundant wildlife has been called the Serengeti of America. It was really beautiful with wide sweeping vistas. We hit a brief thunderstorm with lightning flashing before us in the distance. We saw scores of bison. We also saw a black bear scampering up a hillside. (It was quite far away and we needed binoculars to even see it.)

Oddly, we found that setting up camp without a constant 30mph wind was preferable to doing it in the wind. In addition to not have to battle the elements, we found that we were much more organized this time and that all the poles seemed to have a proper home. This advance bodes well for the future.

In another amazing stroke of luck (and one that makes the Humphrey Bogart one pale in comparison), we noticed that the girl in the campsite next to us seemed to be dressed oddly. When her mother came out of the tent, we were certain. Somehow we had been assigned the campsite next to an Amish family! What serendipity. Fate had truly smiled on us. Now perhaps some of you don’t know the fascination and high esteem the girls and I hold for our Amish cousins. Sarah has called it a perverse and shameful obsession but I disagree. Well as you can imagine, we were tittering with joy. We had so many questions. Firstly, how does a family of Amish get to a drive in campsite in the middle of Yellowstone Park, which is in itself in the middle of nowhere, with all their stuff? Upon closer examination, we decided that these were our type of Amish. Somehow they had a big pick up truck with them. Were they some sort of spin off group? Were they even Amish? Did they just like dressing the part? It turned out that there was another quasi-Amish group nearby. Coincidence? I suspect they were travelling together in some big Amish caravan since they seemed to be socializing with each other. Next I saw that the dad and the sons were dressed just like me. Actually, they were looking better than me since I was wearing basically the same cloths since leaving Minneapolis. So what was going on here? Did he marry an Amish woman? Was this a second marriage? An Amish Brady bunch? Could a gentile do that and still keep the pick up and the Internet? If so, sign me up.

Sorry, I got so worked up over our neighbors that I lost track of our evening. We had some brats, carrots, and chex mix for dinner before retiring to bed. Blah, blah, blah. One special and notable occurrence was that the girls had bought me some chocolate muffins when we were shopping earlier. We had the muffins to celebrate Father’s Day and they each gave me a beautiful and thoughtful handmade card.

Monday June 21

We had a gloomy breakfast this morning due to the fact that our neighbors were packing the truck to leave. We thought of trying to convince them to linger but like the beautiful butterfly we had to let them go. If they truly loved us they would return on their own. True love means letting go.

Before hitting the road for our first day at Yellowstone I thought for some reason it would be fun for us to jog around the camp loop. I’m not sure what reaction I was hoping for but it sure wasn’t this one. There was very little enthusiasm for the endeavor. In fact, I detected a conspiratorial glance between the kids. Now I know how Captain Bligh felt just before the hammer dropped. We did it though and were better for it. Secretly, I thought it might be a good way to reconnoiter the rest of the campground. In the wake of our Amish discovery, who knew who else might be staying here? Anarchists, a Hassidic colony, Gypsies?

We drove the south loop of the park today, covering about 100 miles (again, it’s a big park). We saw the Sulphur Caldron, Mud Volcano, Yellowstone Lake, the continental divide (twice), Old Faithful, tons of bison, and a single elk. We listened to Harry Potter (we’re now on the second book) but sadly not Glee. Basically, it was a day of low-key touring. This park is amazing. There’s so much diversity. It’s a physically beautiful region with gorgeous mountains, lakes, rivers, canyons, waterfalls, wooded areas, and valleys. Then there’s also the geothermal stuff: the geysers, mud pots, water vents, hot springs, etc. Then there is the wildlife. It’s a park that merits long slow visits. We’re just scratching the surface.

The tour was nice but involved a lot of stop start driving. We got out of the car for some leg stretchers to see a few of the sights. Old Faithful was fun, yet somehow disappointing. The crowds around the area were pretty bad and we got stuck next to some nob from New Jersey and his dimwitted tribe. He was loud, ugly and stupid. Par for the course for a Jersey Boy I’d say. He seemed to never tire of shouting out “here it comes” or “it’s going” when the beloved geyser was in fact not going. He did this about 6 times. Each time I looked up from my IPhone even though I knew he was playing a joke. I couldn’t help myself. Then, as my slow burn began to boil, he started singing “I Love You a Bushel and a Peck” to his wife while getting half the lyrics wrong. In one redeeming moment, he got the crowd seated in the half moon of benches around the geyser to do the wave while waiting for the eruption (Old Faithful was running about ten minutes late that time). You gotta love that east coast spunk. I’m generally anti-wave (at least at sporting events but perhaps not so at national parks) but since the kids seemed to like it I’ll give him grudging kudos.

We got back to the campsite late after our day of touring so we went to the nearby Canyon Village Lodge restaurant for a pretty tasty and inexpensive dinner. It beat having to half unload the van to get at the cooking implements and the food then standing in the cold Wyoming night to cook some mediocre camp food.

Tuesday June 22

We woke today to a 38 degree overcast morning. Breakfast was cold cereal and tea. (I did give the kids the option for something hot. I made hash and eggs yesterday so they’re not suffering.) In addition to the cold, we saw that our new neighbors were a normal family. I had been lobbying Benedict hard the day before to pull a few strings. I wanted a troupe of Later Day Saints complete with bicycles, short sleeve white shirts and pamphlets. Mini Pope was not cooperative. He’s mad because we defer to him in some matters of faith but not others. Come on though, he’s attempting to invoke the doctrine of papal infallibility when deciding which overlook to pull over at and whether to have brats or burgers for dinner.

Carson and I jogged around the campsite again this morning. We left Addie behind because we didn’t think it would be good for her asthma. Carson actually suggested the jog this time. She seemed resigned to having to do it and wanted to “get it over with.” Following our jog, we toured the northern loop. The highlights included seeing another bear, an elk, and more bison. Of the many bison we saw, my personal favorite was the one right at the side of the road who, with its back turned to us, let loose with a torrent of poop just as we stopped to look at him. Unfortunately, we weren’t quick enough with the camera on that one. We got to see the bear relatively close up. It was a black bear and he was just off the road. Besides wildlife, we saw the Mammoth Hot Springs and the Norris Geyser areas and took a few short hikes/walks.

After our long day of touring we took our first campground showers ($3.25 per but no time limit and HOT water! One downside to all this camping is that none of the sites have hot, warm, or even cool water in the bathrooms. Because the temperatures have been pretty cold on the trip so far, the water we’ve been using to wash our dishes and ourselves is painfully cold.). Following our showers (which felt almost decadent), we stopped again at the lodge to have a bite to eat before bed.

Wednesday June 23

Today we decided to cut back a little on the driving. We concentrated on the Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone, which is located right by our campsite. It’s a very beautiful area. The canyon is up to 4,000 feet wide, 1,200 feet deep and 27 miles long. It has two waterfalls, one of which is twice as tall as Niagara Falls. It’s a very well photographed destination. You’ve probably seen photographs of it before. We did a number of hikes. On two of them we climbed down into the canyon to reach overlooks. The trails were pretty developed (i.e., asphalt paths and steps) and short, but involved quite a lot of elevation loss and then gain. I was impressed by the spunk of my fellow sightseers. Many of them looked like they had no business attempting these walks but for the most part they kept at it and made it through without the need for evacuation by medical helicopter.

We also took a longer hike out and back along the south rim of the canyon. This was a nice hike leading to an overlook called Artist’s Point. The Point was accessible by car as well. It was funny emerging from the near solitude of our hike into a parking lot jammed with cars and RVs, and people jabbering away in multiple languages. The kids and I agreed though that our view from the overlook was somehow better than everyone else’s since we had earned it.

We had a picnic lunch right by the Yellowstone River. I made us Hamburger Helper (lasagna flavor). It was the kids’ first experience with the Hamburger Helper brand (and only my second). We came away unimpressed. We did manage to play a dramatic game of Uno after lunch.

Our day was capped off by our last visit to the lodge. On each of our first two visits we had gotten a table in the lounge area while we waited for a table in the dining room to open. This time we decided to stay there to have drinks, write postcards and play games. (As usual, I had to balance my love of beer with my weak bladder. Having a beer or multiple beers will often necessitate for me a late night visit to the bathroom, which is fine in one’s home or hotel room. However, when one is camping, and it’s 40 degrees, and going to the bathroom involves leaving one’s cozy sleeping bag, bundling up, and walking halfway across the campground, AND there are grizzlies and wolves roaming the path looking for stragglers; it’s a different calculation.) We wound up getting a couple of appetizers and staying there for about 2 and a half hours before returning to our tent for a campfire, toasted marshmallows and bed.

Thursday June 24

Today we said goodbye to Yellowstone. We woke early (by our standards) broke camp and hit the road. Carson and I forgot to do our jog today. We saw a coyote, an elk, a pronghorn, a mule deer, three moose (including a cow, a calf, and a bull moose) and a grizzly! The grizzly was up by the tree line across a river from us in the Hayden Valley area of Yellowstone. I honestly don’t think we would have seen many of the animals we’ve seen on the trip if it weren’t for seeing groups of people pulled over on the side of the road watching them. I’ve become better at distinguishing between the amateurs aimlessly staring out from a pull off thinking that a distant rock was a rhinoceros and the pros. Of course, it helps that the pros often have huge spotting scopes on tripods set up.

We drove south to Grand Teton National Park and set up camp. The drive took less than three hours, most of which was spent trying to get out of Yellowstone.

We decided to camp at the Signal Mountain Campground, which got good reviews in my guidebook. I can understand the good reviews if you get a lakefront sight. However, the site we got was decidedly average. The mosquitoes paid us a visit just as we began to set up the tent. Have I mentioned that our tent is a huge 10-foot by 12 foot contraption? For some reason it’s starting to look weirder and weirder each time it goes up. Maybe the poles are bending? Maybe it’s starting to disintegrate? Either way, it took forever to set up this time and when it was, it was looking rather stretched and lopsided (and yes, I had the correct poles in the correct sleeves). Then it fell over. (This before I staked it down.) I righted it and quickly staked it. Then I looked over at Addie who was looking very sad but brave swatting away mosquitoes. I tried a bite of the sandwich I had made for her. It was dry and the bread was stale. Then it started to rain. I decided then and there that we might need a short break from camping, either that or head home.

We drove down to Jackson. The ride there was very scenic passing right next to the Teton Range. The Tetons are truly spectacular. I think this is partly because they rise so abruptly with no warning or foothills. Once in Jackson, we mostly just walked around doing some window-shopping and seeing the sights. It was refreshing to be back in a “city” after being in the wilderness for a spell. The Jackson sojourn was cathartic. We had much more pep in our step leaving than we had going in. We had dinner in the Signal Mountain lodge that night. Again, another tasty and inexpensive national park restaurant.

Friday June 25

Today was a great day. We woke up early and broke camp. I spent some extra time packing the van, continuing to refine my organizational scheme. We took too much stuff and are packed to the gills. (Addie’s fault.) It doesn’t leave any margin for error. So anytime we need anything out of the van it basically involves unloading half of it. I’m about to start chucking things out onto the road and leaving them there.

We had pancakes and tea/coffee for breakfast cooked by moi on the camp stove. We then hit the road. (When I suggested to Carson that we resume our jogging routine she wouldn’t even acknowledge the question.) First we drove up Signal Mountain to what was supposed to be a great overlook. It was a waste of time. Don’t bother. Next we drove down to Jenny Lake. We (or should I say I) had planned to take a boat across the lake and then take a hike up to Hidden Falls and Inspiration Point. It is supposed to be one of those can’t miss activities. It’s listed as the “if you only do one hike in the Grand Tetons do this one” in just about all the guidebooks. While en route, I called a local raft company and learned that we could take an afternoon float down the Snake River. We (I) decided to call an audible and postpone the Jenny Lake hike until tomorrow. Instead we took a shorter hike (just an out and back hour and a half hike near Jenny Lake). The hike started on a somber note. About a quarter mile in, the trail forked. One direction was roped off. The explanation was “This trail is closed due to grizzly activity.” Huh? Activity? As in scampering in the meadow eating huckleberries or ripping off some poor middle aged dad’s NY Mets cap with his head still in it? We took the path more travelled and less roped off. During the hike we played 20 questions, then (prompted by the kids’ questions and what seemed like a genuine interest) we talked about the cold war, Cuba, North and South Korea, and how the stock market works. I learned a lot. Actually, I was doing most of the talking. I think I got it all mostly right. Addie in particular has been asking me a great number of unanswerable (at least to me) questions on this trip. At one point she told me that I should have read an encyclopedia before we left to be better prepared. When the cell phone gods have smiled on me I have managed to sneak to the bathroom to use my trusty IPhone to wiki the answer and come back sounding smarter. But that hasn’t always worked.

After the hike we headed back to Jackson for lunch and some more walking around. Jackson (or Jackson Hole) is a great little town, especially so if you’ve been camping for the past week. It has that western theme, which is common in these tourist towns out here, but it’s somehow more genuine. There are a great number of galleries featuring various types of western art and photographs. The entrances to the town square (there are four) have arches made of real elk antlers. Then there is the Million Dollar Cowboy Bar, which I visited on my two prior visits to Jackson (once in 1988 and the other in 1990). Upon sticking my head in I was hit by this feeling of déjà vu. While I had been there twice before it was only vaguely familiar, kind of like viewing it underwater. Hmmm, I wonder why that could be? We were going to have lunch there but they don’t let kids in. They wouldn’t let me in either, something about an incident in 1990 coincidently involving a person who resembled a younger version of me. I, I mean someone with a passing physical resemblance to me, had made their banned for life list. We wound up having lunch in a little Mexican restaurant and then went to our motel to check in. We decided yesterday that we all wanted a break from camping after having camped for seven of the first eight nights. So hence the motel.

After hanging out in the motel for an hour (so Addie could read whatever important e-mails she received during our 6 day Wi Fi drought), we went on our float trip. The trip took us 13 miles down the Snake River (our first western river of the trip-i.e, one heading to the Pacific). It was great. While it wasn’t whitewater rafting, there were some rapids. Carson and I LOVED it. Addie liked it but got a little bored. We saw some wildlife (ospreys, bald eagles-including a baby one, merganser ducks, white pelicans, and a blue heron) but the highlight was being on the river and floating by the Tetons. It was a quiet stretch of river but let me tell you, that is a powerful river. There was only one other family on the raft so it was half full/empty. Thus, we had an entire half of the raft to ourselves, which was probably for the best given the lack of basic hygiene that your narrator has fallen into since Red Lodge, MT. We capped off our day by staying in a charming, quaint (NOT) Super 8 on the outskirts of town and ordering in a pizza. We watched “Sixteen Wishes” on the Disney Channel, which was I believe based on a Tolstoy short story. Showers were had by all and all was well.